The trend of targeting Assistant Commissioners in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa has begun. How long this trend will continue, only God knows. How many young people will be demotivated because of it, only God knows.

Imagine working tirelessly for a better life. Imagine achieving that dream after years of struggle, only to have your life end in a moment because of a bomb blast. Imagine the suffering your family would endure after your death. 

The current situation for youngsters in Pakistan, particularly in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, appears to have been reduced to a bitter and frightening reality: “Work hard and die.”

Bilal Pasha was a Pakistani civil servant (a CSS officer) who died on November 27, 2023. At the time of his death, he was serving as the Cantonment Executive Officer (CEO) in Bannu, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa. He was found dead in his room, reportedly due to suicide. Only God knows whether his death was natural, pre-planned, or truly a suicide.

Similarly, the Assistant Commissioner of Nawagai, Bajaur, was targeted in a bomb blast. The vehicle of the Assistant Commissioner of North Waziristan, Shah Wali, was also blown up in a bomb explosion on Miranshah Road in Bannu.

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All of these officers attained their social status and positions through sheer hard work. They were inspired by others, and in turn, they inspired many. No one could ever have imagined that their lives would end in such a cruel and tragic manner.

One cannot even begin to imagine the depth of suffering their families must have endured after their deaths. The killing of an Assistant Commissioner affects the entire family severely—emotionally as well as financially. Shah Wali’s family is now moving from place to place in search of a government quarter for residence. Had Shah Wali been alive, his family would not have been forced to live such a displaced and miserable life.

How can life be so cruel? How has the system failed to protect these commissioners even after providing them with security? They were innocent. They were performing their duties, yet they were killed mercilessly. Life can be cruel to anyone, at any time.

I, too, was inspired by CSS officers and once began chasing the same dream that these individuals had pursued. I started working hard and spent almost nine to ten thousand rupees on books. 

I began my preparation by reading newspapers regularly. I also kept in mind that not everyone is destined to become a CSS or PMS officer, and I never allowed this dream to turn into an obsession. Every human being has their own struggle in life.

A person must have at least two paths or goals in life. If one path fails, the second should still remain open. In this way, a person does not break completely after failure. During this journey, I cleared several job-related tests and eventually became a government teacher. However, I did not abandon my preparation for competitive examinations.

The death of Bilal Pasha lingered in my mind and demotivated me to some extent, yet I continued my preparation, knowing that there is no shortcut to success and that achievement requires time. Then another tragic incident occurred: the young Assistant Commissioner of Bajaur was killed in a bomb blast in his own vehicle. His life, dreams, and everything he had worked for were shattered within seconds.

After this incident, I began to lose hope, although I somehow continued my struggle. I fell ill and went through several health issues. Despite this, I remained focused on reading national and international newspapers and paid special attention to general knowledge.

During this journey, I managed to clear the screening test of a competitive examination (PMS). However, the memories of Bilal Pasha and the Assistant Commissioner of Bajaur continued to haunt me. They slowed my preparation and progress and made me emotionally aggressive. Still, I had to remain calm, as being a teacher demands patience and kindness while dealing with students on a daily basis.

In my village, I also heard people and colleagues discussing the repeated killings of Assistant Commissioners. Recently, the Assistant Commissioner of Waziristan, Shah Wali, was killed mercilessly. At this stage, my hope began to crumble in the middle of my preparation.

Emily Dickinson, an American poet, writes in her poem “Hope Is the Thing with Feathers” that hope lives within the human soul and continues to sing, even under the harshest conditions. However, the repeated targeting of civil servants in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa challenges this poetic belief. When hope itself becomes dangerous—when achieving a dream means risking one’s life—hope begins to lose its wings.

In spite of these circumstances, many fresh graduates and aspirants may still refuse to surrender to despair and may continue their struggle. My best wishes remain with them.

In my own case, however, life has become more important than becoming a CSS officer. This dream is no longer my priority. I have been forced to put aside the books on which I spent nearly nine to ten thousand rupees. When, how, and where this trend of targeting Assistant Commissioners in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa will end—only God knows.