In the age of social media, we see people talking every day about relationships, marriage, and the dynamics between men and women. People go live, make videos, offer advice, and thousands—even millions—listen to them, believe them, and sometimes adopt their words as guiding principles for their own lives.

Among these names is Dr. Nabiha, who has presented herself as a psychologist and social media influencer. She has spoken very clearly, bluntly, and at times harshly about married life and the roles of men and women.

Recently, when she spoke openly in a live video about her second marriage, her husband, and her in-laws, a new debate erupted on social media. People were especially surprised because her earlier videos conveyed very different views. 

The same statements and beliefs that were once expressed with confidence now stood as question marks.

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She had repeatedly said that if a man insults a woman, it does not mean he hates her; rather, it means he loves her.

 Many people heard this statement, some may have believed it, and perhaps some women endured humiliation by holding onto this thought. But if insults are love, then what is respect?

If speaking harshly is affection, then what do kindness, compassion, and consideration mean? Love does not hurt the other person. It honors them.

 It chooses words carefully, keeps the tone gentle, and protects the dignity of the one it claims to care about.

From a psychological perspective as well, repeated verbal abuse or humiliation gradually breaks a person from within. It slowly erodes self-confidence, weakens personality, and creates a feeling of being unimportant and unworthy of respect.

Another question arises here. If, according to her, a man’s harshness is love, then when she spoke about her husband in the recent live video, was she applying the same principle to herself? If he used harsh words, was that also considered love? Or did it become pain? Because what people witnessed in that video was visible hurt, anger, and grievance.

She appeared on television and openly shared details about her husband, questioned his character, and spoke at length about her in-laws.

If a woman speaking about her in-laws is considered politics, and speaking against her husband is seen as a sign of not wanting to maintain a home, then why did these principles not apply here? Do principles change according to circumstances? Or are they only stated to silence others?

She had also said that women in the past used their hands but not their tongues. Today’s women, she claimed, use both their tongues and their minds; they play politics in their in-laws’ homes and seek revenge, while men only want to maintain the household and women are the ones unwilling to do so. 

Hearing such statements may have made many women feel that they should remain silent, hide their wounds, and swallow their tears. 

But when she herself spoke out and expressed her pain, people remembered those very same earlier statements. Because principles that apply only to others and not to oneself lose their strength and credibility.

The issue is not about someone expressing their pain—every person has the right to speak, and silence is not a virtue.

 The real question arises when we teach others that insults are love, harshness is affection, and a woman speaking up is wrong—yet we ourselves cannot endure the same situation.

A person’s true test comes when circumstances knock on their own door. At that point, not ideology but emotion speaks. This incident reminds us that relationships are built on respect, equality, and mutual responsibility—not on humiliation and double standards.

 Principles should be equal for all, and we should only say what we are prepared to stand by ourselves—that is justice, and that is truth.

Note: This article reflects the personal opinion of the author and does not necessarily represent the views of the organization.